weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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