Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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