OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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