Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
