whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
