i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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