**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My pussy is not your playground.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
