She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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