there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
