sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
