Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
