how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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