sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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