Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize