I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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