In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
