you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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