I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
