so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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