we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
