Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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