I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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