Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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