just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
