he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
