Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
