Already got asked if we're dating
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
