if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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