did you get engaged???
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
