GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
