pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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