Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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