Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
