I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
