For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
