We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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