Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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