i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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