he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
