Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
