Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
