Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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