Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
