Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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