I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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