I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize