Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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