Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
