quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
