He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
